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I did love you. And it fucking sucks when your parents say I never did…..but it hurts more when my parents said that I never loved you and it’s all my fault. I’m the one who fucked up according to everyone. Just live a happy life and forget about me.

Well the whole truth came out today….so I guess I am a waste of time, a fucking waste of life. I’m just a fucking bad person filled with pure fucking evil. I’m nothing, I don’t love anyone around me I guess according to you.

Well I’m finally back home, but it just doesn’t feel right. I wanted to come home to you but everything is different, everything changed. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not happy anymore. This sucks.

All I am is a person swimming in my sea of thoughts trying to find shelter on an island that I will most likely never find.
I am still waiting for that day for a gigantic wave to fall on top of me and drown me…but right now I am swimming in my sad sea of thoughts…trying to keep my head above the water for as long as I can…….

I seem to never make the right decisions. My decision of coming here to Iowa has just fucked everything up, my life has just turned to shit. All the choices I have made haven’t done anything for me, they have just made me empty, unhappy and soulless.

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